So I feel fine now.
I haven't thought or cried about him for several weeks.
That's improvement right?
I am so freaking happy
And nothing eventful has really happened
But I am so happy.
I think I finally let go of everything in the retreat (9-22-17~9-24-17)
I think it happened when we sat around the campfire holding our fears in a piece of paper.
I think it happened when I saw him crying
and I thought to myself "What is he crying for? What is his fear?"
I wanted to ask but decided not to because it was something internal only he could solve
I cried over you and the shitty situation under the stars
I cried for the last time besides other people who were also hurting over their past.
That was the last time I cried over you.
I was finally ready to throw my piece of paper in the fire
he said "I wish our problems could go away this easily"
I just agreed, because I know it takes work to get over a fear
It is so hard to let go of something that was a crucial part of your life.
A crucial part of your past.
And I hope this isn't temporary,
I hope this is permanent
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