2025 Review

 Man...

This year was something for sure. I feel like it was the worst and best year. I got the courage to apply to grad school and then got rejected lmao. I was sick for the majority of the year with stuff I've never had issues with. This made me miss a concert and a movie hang out with a friend, and almost a wedding. To yeah, gaining a crush on someone, not acting on it, and then seeing them move on. Self esteem took a dive and I still feel a light sting. But!! overall I can also feel myself moving on and genuinely being happy for them. I know they always wanted to experience love and to be in a relationship, and I'm glad they get an opportunity to do so. Another major hit was my best friend moving to another state. Which would be a nice thing if it weren't for the fact that it had to be done out safety and necessity. It was so sudden. I cried for weeks and I kept telling myself it was for her safety... but it angered me how it was the way it had to go down. I was going to miss her. It wasn't going to be an easy 3hr drive anymore. We would see each other less. It hurt so much to think about the distance. But its been several weeks since the move and she's doing better so at least that brings an ease of mind. I'm not sure how I will feel not going to her house for New Years, but we'll see I guess. I'm still trying to adjust to this one. 

Through all the rough patches though, I had some really neat experiences. I never considered myself someone who likes dancing or going on outings much, but this year proved me wrong. I love it, I love being with people. I love connecting with strangers and sharing an experience with them. Even if its overall meaningless, I find joy in it. I started looking forward to going to new events even if it was a bit out of my comfort zone.  I went to a science museum dance night, an edm dj night, the museum! Even ACL !! I never thought i would go to a music festival because it all seemed overwhelming. But the opportunity presented itself in the form of a cheap ticket for the 3 day festival lmao. So I had to go, especially since i happened to know a lot of the artists in the lineup. It turned out to be one of my favorite weekends. I was with my cousin and her friends for the entirety of it, we saw The Strokes, Cage the Elephant, Hozier, and The Dare. On one of the days I broke off on my own and saw Magdalena Bay, The Marinas, and Doechii. It was insane.. A surprising act was Wet Leg, the rest of the group already knew them and yeah after that live concert I became an instant fan. We also saw John Summit and my god the energy was otherworldly it did not feel like a close to 2 hr set. I am so happy I decided to get over my fear of sudden plans or else I would have missed out on a ton. 

This year my friend also got married and I got to attend her wedding. It was crazy to think that the person she married is someone her high school self would have dreamed about. Now knowing its her reality it made me feel joyful. I also got to visit her more often during the year (which was lucky considering that she would have to move so suddenly). We attended a kpop dj night event and we sang our hearts out to Golden. This year I also saw my fave Korean artist Bibi!! I went with my scorpio friend, and we also did an escape room. I saw Empire of the Sun with gemini girl and we ran across downtown and went look at buildings on the top floor of a parking lot. I saw a live orchestra in a downtown park with my cousin and gemini girl. Also spontaneously went on a picnic with gemini girl and saw the elephant exhibit, a Bollywood play, and rolled down a hill. Went to a contemporary art exhibit. Saw movies that I know will continue to be my favorites for a while, Nosferatu, Sinners, Superman, and Frankenstein. It was the year Stranger Things concluded lmao. For the months leading up to the finale me and my friend theorized to hell and back, and I watched the finale with my virgo friend. The watchparties continued with my friends, we watched To Be Hero X and other animes. 

In terms of my own personal development I inherited my cousins old violin! I started practicing and I continue to learn. I also picked up the guitar and know a couple notes of my favorite songs. I also delved into art development more with my friend! I am starting to see improvements especially in body compositions. I noticed I said "Yes" to more things, even when I initially felt fear. I learned that I enjoy the company of others. I learned to voice my interests more and share my small accomplishment with others more. I am still scared of a lot of things, and I have quite a lot to learn but 2025 proved that I am actually trying. I am trying to step into my light. I am trying to be more like myself.