Sunday, December 4, 2016
Pacify Her
The guy in the light blue shirt
To the guy in the light blue shirt,
I am happy see that you have found God.
I have not.
Two years ago I remember when you used to get mad easily in the small church group.
Games seemed stupid to you, teacher noticed and called you out.
I remember when you abruptly left the class.
Then we went to the retreat.
On the first day you would sit eating alone
You would walk around alone looking at the floor,
not speaking to anyone.
On the second day you were eating with another person.
You were playing soccer with the other guys
You were praying.
You were singing.
You let happiness in.
Now two years later I see you still have happiness in you
The same happiness I saw at the retreat.
The same happiness that faded for me over time.
I am trying to find long lasting happiness
So far I've only found temporary happiness.
I am happy see that you have found God.
I have not.
Two years ago I remember when you used to get mad easily in the small church group.
Games seemed stupid to you, teacher noticed and called you out.
I remember when you abruptly left the class.
Then we went to the retreat.
On the first day you would sit eating alone
You would walk around alone looking at the floor,
not speaking to anyone.
On the second day you were eating with another person.
You were playing soccer with the other guys
You were praying.
You were singing.
You let happiness in.
Now two years later I see you still have happiness in you
The same happiness I saw at the retreat.
The same happiness that faded for me over time.
I am trying to find long lasting happiness
So far I've only found temporary happiness.
Tuesday, October 4, 2016
The Seniors 9/27/16
It's only been a month of school, and I have already seen people crumble down. For different reasons, rejection, pressure, anxiety, or health. It is quite devastating to watch and try to support. Yesterday I saw one of these cases first hand.
It started in 7th period with our AP Lit teacher reading out bad things people wrote in their essays. The class of course started laughing. I on the other hand was terrified that something I wrote would end up in the list of bad thematic statements. Luckily I did not end up on that list, but someone else I knew did. I laughed a little bit just to somewhat blend in with my classmates. Yes I know it was wrong I should not encourage the laughter and embarrassment but hey I care more about blending in and not being different (Trying really hard to change that). He passed out our essays and I got a "C", Understandable. I did not read the entire book (Which is 100 Years of Solitude) and yet I still felt sad and disappointed for not trying hard enough to get a good grade. Anyways class ended and I went to my Debate social in which we had to elect our team captains. (We elected four amazing people). The social ended around 3:45 and I started talking to Bree. The person I used to have in debate class my freshman year. At first it was normal talk, we went down the staircase and she said "Hey can you go with me to AP lit teacher to return something?"
"Return something?"
"Yeah I am failing his class, might as well give back the laptop and book. I know they will pull me out, best to return the things now"
So we went to the second floor (Our school has three floors) To the AP lit Teacher. We stood there and waited and she said "Ah I don't want to go in there. Is he even there right now?" I stood on my tip toes to look through the small door window and said "Yep he's there sitting in his desk looking at his computer screen"
"I can't do this I'm too nervous I need to calm down but I don't know how"
I watched her pace around the hall when she finally said "You know what, I am going to Martinez's room" (Our AP Language teacher) "He'll know what to do about this, come with me"
We walked to his room and Bree told him what was happening and he said "Just tell him what you told me, that you have too many responsibilities to handle his class. Maybe if he gave you another chance you can pass the class with extra effort" Their conversation went on for 40 min it was 4:27 and it was my time to leave to the after school bus. I told her Good Luck and left. The next day she was still in the English class meaning my teacher gave her a second chance and I could see the feeling of relief on her face. Bree was not as tense as she has been the past few weeks. It was good, it was improvement. The same kind of improvement I saw in my sick friend's face. She no longer looked sad because of her disease, she was now happier. And He no longer was sad because of the rejection, he went back to his usual self. Their emotions are good now.
Now.
It started in 7th period with our AP Lit teacher reading out bad things people wrote in their essays. The class of course started laughing. I on the other hand was terrified that something I wrote would end up in the list of bad thematic statements. Luckily I did not end up on that list, but someone else I knew did. I laughed a little bit just to somewhat blend in with my classmates. Yes I know it was wrong I should not encourage the laughter and embarrassment but hey I care more about blending in and not being different (Trying really hard to change that). He passed out our essays and I got a "C", Understandable. I did not read the entire book (Which is 100 Years of Solitude) and yet I still felt sad and disappointed for not trying hard enough to get a good grade. Anyways class ended and I went to my Debate social in which we had to elect our team captains. (We elected four amazing people). The social ended around 3:45 and I started talking to Bree. The person I used to have in debate class my freshman year. At first it was normal talk, we went down the staircase and she said "Hey can you go with me to AP lit teacher to return something?"
"Return something?"
"Yeah I am failing his class, might as well give back the laptop and book. I know they will pull me out, best to return the things now"
So we went to the second floor (Our school has three floors) To the AP lit Teacher. We stood there and waited and she said "Ah I don't want to go in there. Is he even there right now?" I stood on my tip toes to look through the small door window and said "Yep he's there sitting in his desk looking at his computer screen"
"I can't do this I'm too nervous I need to calm down but I don't know how"
I watched her pace around the hall when she finally said "You know what, I am going to Martinez's room" (Our AP Language teacher) "He'll know what to do about this, come with me"
We walked to his room and Bree told him what was happening and he said "Just tell him what you told me, that you have too many responsibilities to handle his class. Maybe if he gave you another chance you can pass the class with extra effort" Their conversation went on for 40 min it was 4:27 and it was my time to leave to the after school bus. I told her Good Luck and left. The next day she was still in the English class meaning my teacher gave her a second chance and I could see the feeling of relief on her face. Bree was not as tense as she has been the past few weeks. It was good, it was improvement. The same kind of improvement I saw in my sick friend's face. She no longer looked sad because of her disease, she was now happier. And He no longer was sad because of the rejection, he went back to his usual self. Their emotions are good now.
Now.
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
Dillards 9/18/16 (Senior Year)
Me and Geek dude after watching a movie we always go to loiter around in stores> One of these stores is Dillards because they have so many things cringy we can't afford. Like for example last time we went there we saw a a pair of forks that said "I do" because they are marriage theme dishes, just UGH we both cringed so hard we left the store after seeing it. Well for a moment then we came back to buy a cliche wall hanging for Geek dude that said "Go Anywhere" He was so excited when I pointed out the wall hanging as a joke and he said "Oh my god Yes!!! That's so me" He takes my jokes seriously, sometimes.
Anyways today after watching the movie "Don't Breathe" we went to Dillards. To the same home decor section. We saw the 'newly married' plates and decorations and to our surprise a sweet old lady came to us. When I her nearing us I walked away and while I was walking away She said "aw are you guys getting married?". Geek dude said "uh um no We are just looking around" then she said "well these are the plates anyways if you guys were to get married someday, and if not there are some friendship pates over here". I could not stop laughing. Anyways Great fun date.
Anyways today after watching the movie "Don't Breathe" we went to Dillards. To the same home decor section. We saw the 'newly married' plates and decorations and to our surprise a sweet old lady came to us. When I her nearing us I walked away and while I was walking away She said "aw are you guys getting married?". Geek dude said "uh um no We are just looking around" then she said "well these are the plates anyways if you guys were to get married someday, and if not there are some friendship pates over here". I could not stop laughing. Anyways Great fun date.
Saturday, September 10, 2016
Saturday 9/3/16 (Senior Year)
Homecoming day. My boyfriend (Geek dude) asked me to the Homecoming dance on Thursday and I of course said yes. Friday as you may already know was not the best day ever for my self esteem. So when Saturday came around I was filled with anxiety that something might go wrong today.
I woke up early because I also had to volunteer for a place called Turning point (Where we cook food for the homeless). Geek dude was also here so it wasn't that bad, I had someone to talk to and my anxiety eased. Geek dude and me started helping making a potato mix (which is the bomb ah). Then I started cutting up strawberries for the strawberry cake (which also turned out SO good). An hour later we served the food and then me and geek dude and group of friends went outside to eat the leftover food. That was when Soccer player asked Geek dude "Hey are you going to homecoming today?" and then geek dude said "Yes I am. And I am going to the person sitting besides me" (I was sitting besides him and so was this other dude HAHA) So the soccer player said "Aw that's cute so did you do a cute homecoming proposal?" and me and Geek dude said "No. It was just a mutual decision". The soccer player then said "Okay Geek dude I will help you ask your girlfriend to homecoming then" . "Oh no it's really not necessar-". "Hey can I borrow a pen Ms. Castillo?" the soccer player then proceeded to get a napkin paper and wrote this-
He gave it to Geek dude then geek dude said "Okay ______ Will you go to homecoming with me even though you have already given me an answer?". So as you can see I circled Yes on the napkin. And the table went "aww" and one of our supervising teachers took a picture of it to post on the volunteering twitter page. Even though it was a joke in a way.
It was then 12:30 and we went home since we were done volunteering.
OH did I forget to mention that I was sick on this day? Boogers coming out, a bunch of coughing, massive headaches, and yet somehow I managed to pull through the service. Now it was time to try and get better for 7pm. I came home, slept, did homework, practiced violin (sort of), drank medicine. Then when 6 rolled around I started getting ready even though I had minor fever. Went to the dance at 7, geek dude wasn't there yet because of traffic so I sat in the courtyard to wait for him. Luckily The Prodigy came at the same time as I did so we both sat in the courtyard. He said he was waiting for Scorpio dude (Did I forget to mention those two are best friends?). So we started talking about the movie Batman v Superman and how he was watching it before he came here. Then I said "No way I was just listening to the movie soundtrack. I mean one song in particular, the Lex luther's theme song" and he said "OH The red capes are coming?" which to I said yes. Then we talked about movie soundtracks. Five minutes later Geek dude arrived and I said goodbye to the Prodigy kid and went inside we sat on a table started playing with a balloon that was on the floor. Soon he discovered I had a fear of balloons. More specifically I have a fear of balloons popping near me. So he spent the next hour or so trying to scare me and in return I would try to tickle him or throw the balloon back at him in which at one point hit a guy I didn't know on the back of the head. I pretended that it wasn't me who threw the balloon. The guy then threw it to the couple sitting in front of us then the whole table started throwing balloons at each other even though we didn't know each other. It was fun honestly. Then the Theater squad showed up so we went with them to hang out while John busted out some sick dance moves and The President threw some 70's dance moves to modern songs. At first Me and Geek dude did not dance due to us not being good dancers.
In the last forty minutes Geek dude told me "Okay we will dance on the next slow song" and I agreed. The slow song came on and we went to the dance floor. Which was kind of funny, him being a lot taller than me and me being the short person that I am (and I was wearing heels and I was STILL significantly shorter). He had to take small steps and I had to take big steps in order to synchronize. My arms barely reached his shoulders. So we then started laughing about this and kept saying "Ah person behind you take four steps to the right so you won't hit them". Then the song was over and a bachata song came on, so we had to move a tad bit more. Geek dude then said "OKAY from what I have seen so far is that people take two steps to the right then two steps to the left, Easy right?" "Psht yeah of course, easy". It wasn't easy. Us being the smart people that we are (he's way more smarter than me though) could not figure out how to correctly move to this song the dance looked so awkward it was hilarious, It was perfect. (ugh cringe yes I know). Then other pop songs came on and we threw out some lame lame moves, I don't even know how to describe it. A slow song came on again, we danced awkwardly like 8th graders on purpose and he kept saying lame jokes. To finish off the dance they put on the song "The time" by The black eyed peas. That's when we ran to our theater group to sing along to the lyrics of the song as loud as we could. It was the best moment hearing the whole group of people in the dance start singing ♪I had the time of my life♪ with the biggest smile on everyone's faces. It was quite vibe, I literally felt like tearing up from seeing so much joy in one room. The song then picked up pace so that's when we started jumping around and The president took this chance to create a conga line. He screamed "Get in the line WOO" and slowly we all joined in to create a big circle while somehow managing to jump and scream "Cause I am having a good time with you i'm telling you!". Geek dude turned around and yelled to me "This is so Lit ahhh" (Literally have never seen him like this before). In the end when the song started coming to an end we all ran to the middle of the circle to jump even higher and start clapping and screaming.
I am so happy I ended up going to my one and only homecoming dance. I am even happier that I got to spend that time with my friends and Geek dude. We were both nervous about being embarrassed with our bad dancing. But we both got over it and truly felt free and comfortable around each other. So Thank you!!
Sorry forgot to put in the story that we also kept throwing glitter at each other, and I found out he does the cutest face with his teeth making him look like a hamster,
Also the prodigy kept headbanging on the pop songs and in the last hour he managed to get crazy enough to wrap his tie around his head like a bandana, While Scorpio dude kept rocking out with him (Sophomores I swear are the funniest people ever).
And some of our counselors and principals started dancing with us HOW GREAT!
I woke up early because I also had to volunteer for a place called Turning point (Where we cook food for the homeless). Geek dude was also here so it wasn't that bad, I had someone to talk to and my anxiety eased. Geek dude and me started helping making a potato mix (which is the bomb ah). Then I started cutting up strawberries for the strawberry cake (which also turned out SO good). An hour later we served the food and then me and geek dude and group of friends went outside to eat the leftover food. That was when Soccer player asked Geek dude "Hey are you going to homecoming today?" and then geek dude said "Yes I am. And I am going to the person sitting besides me" (I was sitting besides him and so was this other dude HAHA) So the soccer player said "Aw that's cute so did you do a cute homecoming proposal?" and me and Geek dude said "No. It was just a mutual decision". The soccer player then said "Okay Geek dude I will help you ask your girlfriend to homecoming then" . "Oh no it's really not necessar-". "Hey can I borrow a pen Ms. Castillo?" the soccer player then proceeded to get a napkin paper and wrote this-
He gave it to Geek dude then geek dude said "Okay ______ Will you go to homecoming with me even though you have already given me an answer?". So as you can see I circled Yes on the napkin. And the table went "aww" and one of our supervising teachers took a picture of it to post on the volunteering twitter page. Even though it was a joke in a way.
It was then 12:30 and we went home since we were done volunteering.
OH did I forget to mention that I was sick on this day? Boogers coming out, a bunch of coughing, massive headaches, and yet somehow I managed to pull through the service. Now it was time to try and get better for 7pm. I came home, slept, did homework, practiced violin (sort of), drank medicine. Then when 6 rolled around I started getting ready even though I had minor fever. Went to the dance at 7, geek dude wasn't there yet because of traffic so I sat in the courtyard to wait for him. Luckily The Prodigy came at the same time as I did so we both sat in the courtyard. He said he was waiting for Scorpio dude (Did I forget to mention those two are best friends?). So we started talking about the movie Batman v Superman and how he was watching it before he came here. Then I said "No way I was just listening to the movie soundtrack. I mean one song in particular, the Lex luther's theme song" and he said "OH The red capes are coming?" which to I said yes. Then we talked about movie soundtracks. Five minutes later Geek dude arrived and I said goodbye to the Prodigy kid and went inside we sat on a table started playing with a balloon that was on the floor. Soon he discovered I had a fear of balloons. More specifically I have a fear of balloons popping near me. So he spent the next hour or so trying to scare me and in return I would try to tickle him or throw the balloon back at him in which at one point hit a guy I didn't know on the back of the head. I pretended that it wasn't me who threw the balloon. The guy then threw it to the couple sitting in front of us then the whole table started throwing balloons at each other even though we didn't know each other. It was fun honestly. Then the Theater squad showed up so we went with them to hang out while John busted out some sick dance moves and The President threw some 70's dance moves to modern songs. At first Me and Geek dude did not dance due to us not being good dancers.
In the last forty minutes Geek dude told me "Okay we will dance on the next slow song" and I agreed. The slow song came on and we went to the dance floor. Which was kind of funny, him being a lot taller than me and me being the short person that I am (and I was wearing heels and I was STILL significantly shorter). He had to take small steps and I had to take big steps in order to synchronize. My arms barely reached his shoulders. So we then started laughing about this and kept saying "Ah person behind you take four steps to the right so you won't hit them". Then the song was over and a bachata song came on, so we had to move a tad bit more. Geek dude then said "OKAY from what I have seen so far is that people take two steps to the right then two steps to the left, Easy right?" "Psht yeah of course, easy". It wasn't easy. Us being the smart people that we are (he's way more smarter than me though) could not figure out how to correctly move to this song the dance looked so awkward it was hilarious, It was perfect. (ugh cringe yes I know). Then other pop songs came on and we threw out some lame lame moves, I don't even know how to describe it. A slow song came on again, we danced awkwardly like 8th graders on purpose and he kept saying lame jokes. To finish off the dance they put on the song "The time" by The black eyed peas. That's when we ran to our theater group to sing along to the lyrics of the song as loud as we could. It was the best moment hearing the whole group of people in the dance start singing ♪I had the time of my life♪ with the biggest smile on everyone's faces. It was quite vibe, I literally felt like tearing up from seeing so much joy in one room. The song then picked up pace so that's when we started jumping around and The president took this chance to create a conga line. He screamed "Get in the line WOO" and slowly we all joined in to create a big circle while somehow managing to jump and scream "Cause I am having a good time with you i'm telling you!". Geek dude turned around and yelled to me "This is so Lit ahhh" (Literally have never seen him like this before). In the end when the song started coming to an end we all ran to the middle of the circle to jump even higher and start clapping and screaming.
I am so happy I ended up going to my one and only homecoming dance. I am even happier that I got to spend that time with my friends and Geek dude. We were both nervous about being embarrassed with our bad dancing. But we both got over it and truly felt free and comfortable around each other. So Thank you!!
Sorry forgot to put in the story that we also kept throwing glitter at each other, and I found out he does the cutest face with his teeth making him look like a hamster,
Also the prodigy kept headbanging on the pop songs and in the last hour he managed to get crazy enough to wrap his tie around his head like a bandana, While Scorpio dude kept rocking out with him (Sophomores I swear are the funniest people ever).
And some of our counselors and principals started dancing with us HOW GREAT!
Thursday, September 8, 2016
The Weird day 9/2/16 (Senior year)
Normal. Normal. Normal
4th Period: I got the lowest test score in my class HAHA and How do I know this? The teacher told the whole class I had the lowest score. Of Course this put my already non-existing self esteem in a dangerously level of below zero. I spent the whole day pretty gloomy and thinking "ugh I am stupid. I am not worth anything, I actually am trying this time and I still get the same result WHY EVEN BOTHER" You know the usual sad thoughts.
On this day there was also going to be a Pep Rally at the end of the day. me being in the state I was I did not go. I went into the orchestra room to pick up my violin and leave to walk home. BUT That's when I saw that The Prodigy (My Best friend small brother) and The Satanist were there also. I also realized that the satanist was trying to squeeze himself into a violin locker (They are thin but long). Since he is small he had a chance at going all in but no he could only go in halfway before his shoulders didn't manage to fit. Then he tried to go in head first in the locker and said "okay guys if I start screaming you will pull me out. Okay?" and me and The prodigy said "we got you fam". He went in then he yelled "nope. PULL ME OUT". So of course we did. Then The Satanist got his violin and The Prodigy got his cello to practice their music and since I am in first violin the Satanist (he's 2nd violin) asked if he could see my music and I said "Sure". They started playing my music while i watched them struggle (since it's usually hard music). Then The Satanist asked "Hey do you have the song Memory?" and I said Yes I do. He went to look for it in my binder and found it The prodigy and the satanist both started playing and I couldn't help but smile because THAT is one of my favorite orchestra songs.
In my orchestra the seniors have a tradition on the senior's last orchestra concerts they have to play the song "memory: as a goodbye song. Last year The Best friend graduated so you can imagine the crying that happened when they played their goodbye song. Ever since then I've held this song in a special place and this year will be my turn to say goodbye with that song. Which is sad in a way, I will truly miss my friends in orchestra (most of my friends now in orchestra are sophomores). This, My last year, I can honestly say that orchestra is my home I finally feel like I fit in orchestra (AFTER 3 YEARS WOW).
Anyways my thought process was interrupted by The Satanist "Can i borrow it PLEASEEE ?!??!" and I said "Yes but you better give it back because I also love this song" and then he replied with "OH MY GOD THANK YOU". Then we started to leave because the pep rally was over, other people came in to pick up their instruments and some had lost their voices in the rally. Our orchestra teacher came in and told us three "Well I see you guys aren't Pep rally people. Why?" and The prodigy said "Because playing music is better than losing my voice". HAHA.
This was the first time where orchestra has actually made my day better I no longer was walking around with a sad face instead I was smiling for sharing those simple but fun moment with those two.
(It's been a week he hasn't given it back, ugh)
4th Period: I got the lowest test score in my class HAHA and How do I know this? The teacher told the whole class I had the lowest score. Of Course this put my already non-existing self esteem in a dangerously level of below zero. I spent the whole day pretty gloomy and thinking "ugh I am stupid. I am not worth anything, I actually am trying this time and I still get the same result WHY EVEN BOTHER" You know the usual sad thoughts.
On this day there was also going to be a Pep Rally at the end of the day. me being in the state I was I did not go. I went into the orchestra room to pick up my violin and leave to walk home. BUT That's when I saw that The Prodigy (My Best friend small brother) and The Satanist were there also. I also realized that the satanist was trying to squeeze himself into a violin locker (They are thin but long). Since he is small he had a chance at going all in but no he could only go in halfway before his shoulders didn't manage to fit. Then he tried to go in head first in the locker and said "okay guys if I start screaming you will pull me out. Okay?" and me and The prodigy said "we got you fam". He went in then he yelled "nope. PULL ME OUT". So of course we did. Then The Satanist got his violin and The Prodigy got his cello to practice their music and since I am in first violin the Satanist (he's 2nd violin) asked if he could see my music and I said "Sure". They started playing my music while i watched them struggle (since it's usually hard music). Then The Satanist asked "Hey do you have the song Memory?" and I said Yes I do. He went to look for it in my binder and found it The prodigy and the satanist both started playing and I couldn't help but smile because THAT is one of my favorite orchestra songs.
In my orchestra the seniors have a tradition on the senior's last orchestra concerts they have to play the song "memory: as a goodbye song. Last year The Best friend graduated so you can imagine the crying that happened when they played their goodbye song. Ever since then I've held this song in a special place and this year will be my turn to say goodbye with that song. Which is sad in a way, I will truly miss my friends in orchestra (most of my friends now in orchestra are sophomores). This, My last year, I can honestly say that orchestra is my home I finally feel like I fit in orchestra (AFTER 3 YEARS WOW).
Anyways my thought process was interrupted by The Satanist "Can i borrow it PLEASEEE ?!??!" and I said "Yes but you better give it back because I also love this song" and then he replied with "OH MY GOD THANK YOU". Then we started to leave because the pep rally was over, other people came in to pick up their instruments and some had lost their voices in the rally. Our orchestra teacher came in and told us three "Well I see you guys aren't Pep rally people. Why?" and The prodigy said "Because playing music is better than losing my voice". HAHA.
This was the first time where orchestra has actually made my day better I no longer was walking around with a sad face instead I was smiling for sharing those simple but fun moment with those two.
(It's been a week he hasn't given it back, ugh)
Thursday, August 11, 2016
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
Worst Luck Today in League
** "How many champions you killed/ How many times you died/ and Times you assisted in champion kills" "Kills/Deaths/Assist"
It was a pretty normal day, so around 1pm I decided to play one match on League. It went okay (I played as Sona) I kept my partner (Miss fortune) Alive and safe while I assisted on her kills. I got a decent 1/1/7. So then I decided to play again for another round with Sona just so I could get more practice. Champion selection begins I call "Support for Bot" since I am using Sona. Locked in my choice. Someone else chose the bottom lane so I said "Okay thats who I am supporting then". Game starts, and two people start going bot (3 can't go bottom lane) and I say that "I called bottom already" and they wouldn't move so then I asked "Where do I go then?" they sent me top and then I said i need someone else at top because I can't do much damage on my own. No one came. Eventually I kept losing and dying in my lane. It was only after they destroyed the second Turret is that my team responded with "Sona what the heck". We lost, because we lost control of the lanes. My final score 0/10/4 (TERRIBLE).
Next game I went with Ashe and I had Soraka as my Support. It started out fine until we realized there were 3 enemy champions in our lane and there was only two of us. So we lost the lane and lost the game (1/4/2). So afterwards I thought "okay maybe I just suck at this game but I will play UNTIL I WIN" and oh lord how much time did that take.
3rd game: Defeat 3/2/1 (Someone wasn't playing at all)
4th game: Defeat 2/5/2 (They sent me alone in top lane)
5th game: Defeat 3/1/4 ( People thought that we were losing so they voted to surrender 4 voting to surrender and me being the only one voting to keep playing. WE WEREN'T EVEN LOSING WE WERE TIED TO THE ENEMY TEAM)
(By this time you would think I would have given up but no.)
6th game: Defeat 4/3/3 ( No one played Mid because the person that was assigned there was AFK, so mid got overtaken easily)
7TH GAME; VICTORY 7/2/8
YESS!!!!!! RIGHT??!?! well the opposing team surrendered. So I wasn't exactly too satisfied
Anyways I took a break and went to eat dinner. Came back and the TEMPTATION to play again started.
8th game: Defeat 4/1/2 (Our Garen and Annie weren't online for the entire game)
9th game: Defeat 6/7/8 (Team surrendered again after only 20 min because everyone in my team kept fighting)
-Real convo from that game-
Veigar: wtf miss fortune
Miss Fortune: Help me then if you don't want me to die
Veigar: No
Miss fortune: stop acting so childish
(Then I don't know what they said i was too busy maintaining my lane to read everything. But somehow the conversation took a change in topics)
Veigar: Only a feminist would play Miss fortune
Miss fortune: That doesn't even make sense.do you even know what that means?
Veigar: omfg shut up
Miss fortune: awww you don't !! what are you 11?
Thresh: You guys are stupid and Miss fortune plz STOP FEEDING OMFG
Nocturne (He was helping me on bot lane with me): GUYS STOP ARGUING WE'RE LOSING
So yeah that's why we lost because people were arguing instead of playing or helping each other.
10th and final Game: Victory 2/0/6 (Enemy Team surrendered)
Most of these Battles lasted about 20-30 min (So don't worry I didn't spend 10hrs on this game)
But Yep today wasn't my day on this game. (Still happy for the two victories though)
Looking back at it now. It doesn't seem that bad I mean I was never truly mad that I kept losing I was mostly disappointing and I felt dead after a while haha HAHHA. This is what that game does.
It was a pretty normal day, so around 1pm I decided to play one match on League. It went okay (I played as Sona) I kept my partner (Miss fortune) Alive and safe while I assisted on her kills. I got a decent 1/1/7. So then I decided to play again for another round with Sona just so I could get more practice. Champion selection begins I call "Support for Bot" since I am using Sona. Locked in my choice. Someone else chose the bottom lane so I said "Okay thats who I am supporting then". Game starts, and two people start going bot (3 can't go bottom lane) and I say that "I called bottom already" and they wouldn't move so then I asked "Where do I go then?" they sent me top and then I said i need someone else at top because I can't do much damage on my own. No one came. Eventually I kept losing and dying in my lane. It was only after they destroyed the second Turret is that my team responded with "Sona what the heck". We lost, because we lost control of the lanes. My final score 0/10/4 (TERRIBLE).
Next game I went with Ashe and I had Soraka as my Support. It started out fine until we realized there were 3 enemy champions in our lane and there was only two of us. So we lost the lane and lost the game (1/4/2). So afterwards I thought "okay maybe I just suck at this game but I will play UNTIL I WIN" and oh lord how much time did that take.
3rd game: Defeat 3/2/1 (Someone wasn't playing at all)
4th game: Defeat 2/5/2 (They sent me alone in top lane)
5th game: Defeat 3/1/4 ( People thought that we were losing so they voted to surrender 4 voting to surrender and me being the only one voting to keep playing. WE WEREN'T EVEN LOSING WE WERE TIED TO THE ENEMY TEAM)
(By this time you would think I would have given up but no.)
6th game: Defeat 4/3/3 ( No one played Mid because the person that was assigned there was AFK, so mid got overtaken easily)
7TH GAME; VICTORY 7/2/8
YESS!!!!!! RIGHT??!?! well the opposing team surrendered. So I wasn't exactly too satisfied
Anyways I took a break and went to eat dinner. Came back and the TEMPTATION to play again started.
8th game: Defeat 4/1/2 (Our Garen and Annie weren't online for the entire game)
9th game: Defeat 6/7/8 (Team surrendered again after only 20 min because everyone in my team kept fighting)
-Real convo from that game-
Veigar: wtf miss fortune
Miss Fortune: Help me then if you don't want me to die
Veigar: No
Miss fortune: stop acting so childish
(Then I don't know what they said i was too busy maintaining my lane to read everything. But somehow the conversation took a change in topics)
Veigar: Only a feminist would play Miss fortune
Miss fortune: That doesn't even make sense.do you even know what that means?
Veigar: omfg shut up
Miss fortune: awww you don't !! what are you 11?
Thresh: You guys are stupid and Miss fortune plz STOP FEEDING OMFG
Nocturne (He was helping me on bot lane with me): GUYS STOP ARGUING WE'RE LOSING
So yeah that's why we lost because people were arguing instead of playing or helping each other.
10th and final Game: Victory 2/0/6 (Enemy Team surrendered)
Most of these Battles lasted about 20-30 min (So don't worry I didn't spend 10hrs on this game)
But Yep today wasn't my day on this game. (Still happy for the two victories though)
Looking back at it now. It doesn't seem that bad I mean I was never truly mad that I kept losing I was mostly disappointing and I felt dead after a while haha HAHHA. This is what that game does.
Thursday, July 14, 2016
So I started playing League...
Through out my Junior year I always kept hearing my friends talk about League of Legends and they even invited me to play with them but I would always say "No it's too time consuming and my grades will drop" (I was right). I finally got around to actually playing it near the end of June. Of course I started with Co-op vs Al, I always played Ashe. I still always choose Ashe. I improved a little bit, then I went into pvp and oh my lord. I sucked at it, BUT to my surprise people were nice. I was avoiding pvp because I thought people would be beyond mean. I was one of the lucky ones to encounter nice people including a girl named Eve. She thought I had her name because of my username, and that's how we became friends for a day. (I haven't talked to her since). I played more in the following week and I encountered my first mean person I just ignored them and we lost.
Then on July 11th I met Kaix (This is not their entire username). Me as always , chose ashe and he had Veigar. We started out in the same Lane so we started actually killing the enemies which we were both happy about and each time Kaix got the kill , Kaix would say sorry. Or each time Kaix died near me I would apologize saying something along the lines of "AH I 'M SORRY" and then after a while we kept saying "WHOA did you see that!?" or "ugh I don't like that dude" we kept adding commentary throughout the game so of course we added eachother because we got along easily and we worked so well together! I mean I got 8 kills 0 DEATHS and 10 assist, that is a lot(for me because I usually suck). I told Kaix that too when they said "you're good" I replied to Kaix with "Only because you were supporting me or else I would have died a lot and done no damage so Thanks" and our team won so woo. After this game Kaix then asked if I wanted to play another round. I said yes. We were doing good like last time BUT two players from our team left because they had things to do, so naturally we lost a 5v3. Which sucked because we were doing so good (He was playing Master Yi for this one). We went to sleep because it was getting late (1am? 2am?).
Two days later (7/3/16) Kaix was online so I messaged him/her and told Kaix about the day and we had a somewhat deep conversation. It was weird but comforting knowing that you have people that care. So after the short convo we played a game and we lost HAHA. Then Kaix suggested that I play twisted treeline with him/her (Yes I don't know their gender yet). Then I said "I will suck at it. I tried it one time and left mid game because I was sleepy" The Kaix said "I will lane with you" so I said "okay fine" then THEN Kaix said "or we can ARAM". In response I said " Oh jesus never tried it don't they choose a champion for you though?" and Kaix said "Yes AND NOW YOU WILL TRY IT". So Kaix sent the invite for ARAM and I had no choice but to accept the offer and in the chat Kaix was laughing their ass off and I was thinking "AH YOU SUCK FOR CONVINCING ME" . Kaix said "well wellll DIN'T YOU SAY IT'S GOOD TO TRY NEW THINGS LIKE NEW CHAMPIONS" (Earlier I told him/her it's good that he/she tried a new champion) Then I said "I meant. I MEANT IT'S good for YOU to try new things. Not me". So then our convo was interrupted because the other players accepted to play and the champion selection begun. And out of all the champions
Guess
Who
I
Got
Ashe
FREAKING ASHE. I was beyond happy at this point. Kaix also saw this and said
"Omg NO WAY OUT OF ALL THE CHAMPIONS REALLY!??!?"
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA THANK THE LORD
kaix: HOW
Me: I LOVE LIFE THANK YOU I AM A BELIEVERR
Kaix: omg don't you mean beilieber?
The Battle begun and wow it was fun (only because I knew the champion)
Kaix on the other hand got a champion he/she has never played but wow he/she did good for not knowing what to do
We won. Whoever this person is. I am thankful I found them. Someone I can connect with. Even if I don't know their gender or name yet. I know they have an amazing personality.
So far I am enjoying this game even if I don't take as seriously as other players (Clearly).
Then on July 11th I met Kaix (This is not their entire username). Me as always , chose ashe and he had Veigar. We started out in the same Lane so we started actually killing the enemies which we were both happy about and each time Kaix got the kill , Kaix would say sorry. Or each time Kaix died near me I would apologize saying something along the lines of "AH I 'M SORRY" and then after a while we kept saying "WHOA did you see that!?" or "ugh I don't like that dude" we kept adding commentary throughout the game so of course we added eachother because we got along easily and we worked so well together! I mean I got 8 kills 0 DEATHS and 10 assist, that is a lot(for me because I usually suck). I told Kaix that too when they said "you're good" I replied to Kaix with "Only because you were supporting me or else I would have died a lot and done no damage so Thanks" and our team won so woo. After this game Kaix then asked if I wanted to play another round. I said yes. We were doing good like last time BUT two players from our team left because they had things to do, so naturally we lost a 5v3. Which sucked because we were doing so good (He was playing Master Yi for this one). We went to sleep because it was getting late (1am? 2am?).
Two days later (7/3/16) Kaix was online so I messaged him/her and told Kaix about the day and we had a somewhat deep conversation. It was weird but comforting knowing that you have people that care. So after the short convo we played a game and we lost HAHA. Then Kaix suggested that I play twisted treeline with him/her (Yes I don't know their gender yet). Then I said "I will suck at it. I tried it one time and left mid game because I was sleepy" The Kaix said "I will lane with you" so I said "okay fine" then THEN Kaix said "or we can ARAM". In response I said " Oh jesus never tried it don't they choose a champion for you though?" and Kaix said "Yes AND NOW YOU WILL TRY IT". So Kaix sent the invite for ARAM and I had no choice but to accept the offer and in the chat Kaix was laughing their ass off and I was thinking "AH YOU SUCK FOR CONVINCING ME" . Kaix said "well wellll DIN'T YOU SAY IT'S GOOD TO TRY NEW THINGS LIKE NEW CHAMPIONS" (Earlier I told him/her it's good that he/she tried a new champion) Then I said "I meant. I MEANT IT'S good for YOU to try new things. Not me". So then our convo was interrupted because the other players accepted to play and the champion selection begun. And out of all the champions
Guess
Who
I
Got
Ashe
FREAKING ASHE. I was beyond happy at this point. Kaix also saw this and said
"Omg NO WAY OUT OF ALL THE CHAMPIONS REALLY!??!?"
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA THANK THE LORD
kaix: HOW
Me: I LOVE LIFE THANK YOU I AM A BELIEVERR
Kaix: omg don't you mean beilieber?
The Battle begun and wow it was fun (only because I knew the champion)
Kaix on the other hand got a champion he/she has never played but wow he/she did good for not knowing what to do
We won. Whoever this person is. I am thankful I found them. Someone I can connect with. Even if I don't know their gender or name yet. I know they have an amazing personality.
So far I am enjoying this game even if I don't take as seriously as other players (Clearly).
Wednesday, July 13, 2016
A High five to the element Francium
9th Grade i always saw you around in Biology class but as sitting charts may have it we never sat together. It wasn't until Chemistry class on the first day of school. I got to draw out the element "K" for Potassium. The draw that led me to sit in the Alkali metals table. I was probably the 3rd one to arrive at the table. The tardy bell rung and the first day of chemistry begun, and to be honest I was completely nervous to be sitting in a table with strangers. Especially when I was the only sophomore in a table of Juniors. I was quite intimidated with one of the smartest people sitting in front of me (Francium) and one of the most short tempered and debatable character of Cesium. The only person I found approachable was Rubidium. This wasn't for long. Maybe a week after, we started to talk Cesium suddenly seemed less angry and you, Francium also looked nicer. Soon the table became close, mostly due to not understanding those dreadful assignments. We had to ALWAYS ask for your help in order to somewhat understand what Ms O was talking about. We were no longer strangers we were friends. Where Cesium always talked about a truck he wanted to buy and him constantly saying "omg that guy was so dumb like UGH I asked for the title a month ago and i still don't have it like why" and usually the person to calm him down was you with your logical explanations and helpful advice. And each time I was under the mood our doodles made me become happier. Chemistry wasn't as bad anymore, of course the struggle of understanding it was kept through out the year but the joy the table and a sense of humor that was created made it amazing. Where I would act like a 5 year old kid just to make the class less boring. I would always draw on your hands with markers that still worked from out chemistry basket. Of course you would get annoyed (who wouldn't) but you always kept smiling. And in the following year we talked less due to not having classes together but I saw you shine your talent in the musical as Arvide. Each time I had to shine the spotlight on you I always hummed or sometimes sung the song very softly because it was one of my favorites. Sorry for not giving you the high five I promised to give you on the last day of school of your Senior year. I never saw you on the last days. And sorry for our table not being able to win Jeopardy because we were too caught up in our Alkali metal of a group and not actually listening to the teacher at times. But Thank you for cheering me up . And sure as heck Thank you for making our table pull through Chemistry we wouldn't have passed the class without your patience and OMG amazing brain of yours. I truly wished it didn't have to be like this. I know you would have done great things with that amazing mind and personality of yours. May you Rest in peace.
A High five from me: Potassium
A High five from me: Potassium
Tuesday, June 21, 2016
'Winter' Dance 2/26/16 (11th grade)
Background:
- It was Thursday my best friend invited me to go to the winter dance with her. I initially said No, because no one went to those winter dances. She convinced me to go because we get to choose our music and yay free food (since not a lot people show up, so demand is low, obviously)
- Geek dude during this time was a friend that i guess I somewhat started gaining feelings for , but because this is life, he went on a date with a girl(Let's call her Domino) on Tuesday. I was happy for him honestly since he did deserve someone good. Next 2 days rolled around he said the date went horrible and everything that followed it was a mess.
FRIDAY, The day of the winter dance. I began with my usual school day routine with English, Physics, History, and Orchestra. Yes orchestra where I sat besides my best friend (also my stand violin buddy) she broke the horrid HORRID news that she wasn't able to go anymore (forgot why she could't) so I also decided to not go because i didn't want to go to a nearly empty dance with no one to talk to. Pre-cal. Lunch I sat in the theater table like always except this time a dear friend of mine was severely 'depressed' or at least that's what he said each time I asked about his date. I then proceeded to talk about movies while he somehow tied it back to how his love life sucks and honestly just being pessimist towards everything. So okay lunch wasn't that great. Anatomy, Debate. School ends I go to theater to stay after school. We didn't do much except talk Geek dude was still down, and so an hour later he left, and I was left alone with John and the Doc. It was probably 5 pm at this point so the theater teacher asked if we wanted to go to the auditorium we said yes because we had nothing better to do. An hour passed and the theater teacher left. So it was just us three and we went to the choir room because they were helping out with the dance. Since it was 6 they told me if i could stay since the dance was going to start in a hour. So I decided to stay for the dance even though I didn't really talk to them but my intuition (i guess) told me to stay? Anyways the choir room was empty the choir teacher was over at the gym setting up decorations or the dance. So we decided to play the piano (there was one in his office) and we tried playing horror movie theme songs and we created our own song too. The teacher walked in and we shut the piano down and then he told us to go outside in the bus circle to tell the DJ where to go and help him carry his equipment with a cart the choir teacher gave us. We waited and after several minutes we started racing around the cart and Doc hit the wall while John pushed him. I was on the side watching and I hit a door handle and to my surprise it was not locked! So I told them, and then I opened it. At first it looked like a normal janitor's closet but as i walked in i noticed there was a small staircase on the left corner that led to a second floor. "ouuh mystery, you should go up and see what's there" John told me. I started to go up but HA the DJ arrived so we immediately got out and closed the door (and till this day I still do not know what's on the top of that mysterious staircase). We helped load his system at the gymnasium and it was 7 so the "dance" officially started. The first hour was a bore, I somewhat talked to Doc and John but they mostly talked to each other and then the "life of the party" (as our grade principal said) came. As soon as the President (let's call him that) Doc and John talked to him. So I was left pacing around the gym on my phone like the introvert I am haa. After a while I went to the concession stand where i started talking to this girl the conversation didn't last that long. I was once again back to square one. I was ready to leave at this point where BAM this random dude(His name Scorpio Dude) said "WHAT ARE THOSEE" to me, well to my shoes. "They are vans" I said. "oh my god I thought they were converse. I must be blind. By the way you look like a converse kind of person. I personally myself am a converse man" with that being said I replied with "I mean I have one pair of black converse and yes you look like a converse person too". And so the random conversation took off, lasting 30min which then turned to several hours. It was weird I have never talked to a stranger for that long, anyhow it was a good talk. and I never saw him again. (Well except for the few times we would bump into each other at the restrooms intersection.) Things I remembered from this was the exchanging of our birthdays(This is where his nickname originated from) , Wooden violins, Drums, band, and me being "deaf" ( i said "what?" a lot of times because i couldn't hear him over the loud music), a pat on the head for being as short as I am and him being average size. Then finally ending the dance with cleaning up and pretending to be a cheerleader with the table decorations.
I know this story isn't much but it helped a lot, on the following days I felt happier. Having met someone as cool as him doesn't strike often in my life. Even if it was for one day it was nice having a random and unexpected bond.
A song that described the happy feeling:
I know this story isn't much but it helped a lot, on the following days I felt happier. Having met someone as cool as him doesn't strike often in my life. Even if it was for one day it was nice having a random and unexpected bond.
A song that described the happy feeling:
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