It's been a while since I have wanted to write a post on here but I want to put out a couple things now. Lately I have been feeling restless. Things are not bad BAD but I don't feel at ease with myself at the moment. I have a constant feeling that I could be doing more. I am content with my job but I feel like I deserve more. This is a first for me, I usually feel like I don't deserve what I have. Maybe it's because money is stretching thin these days in between paying for basic living expenses and my student debt. I can't afford to move out on my own even though I feel that I am ready to have my own space. I like living with my family but I miss being with friends and the random night outings. In the past 2-3years after graduation I feel like I have stopped living and experiencing new things. I know I have come across new things like jobs but none of it fills me with excitement. I don't think I have found what I am meant to do. Every time visit my friends in other towns I find myself feeling inspired or motivated, I don't feel this here. I just feel indifference. I think that's why I want to have roommates again because it was so easy to talk to other people about plans. It was also fun doing unplanned projects/activities. I miss the feeling of community (that is not family).
For the upcoming year I want to live with other roommates in a another city. I want to be more independent in terms of meal preps and transportation. I have gotten too comfortable with my parents alleviating that area. I want to soothe my curiosity with new experiences and new people. I want to learn more and talk more with others. I want to be out of my bubble once again. I also want to gai more confidence in myself to look for jobs that align more with what I like. I am still not sure what that is but I need to lose the fear of exploring. I want to be someone that serves people. I want to be useful and resourceful. All of this just makes me feel like maybe I am a 'career girlie' haha. Recently I saw a tarot video talking about my zodiac placements and how i the next year we will feel more restless and how its the way our body communicates to our soul to pursue a new purpose. I wonder if these feelings I am now feeling will amplify too.
anyways stepping stones to make this a reality:
-Wake up early enough to drive (also get my licenseyikess)
-Scout the job landscape in the city i want to live in
-also maybe reach out to person i interned w in the past for tips??
-Stay in contact w the friend I want to move into w
-make solid plans about a visiting trip to the city
-Stick to an exercise routine cut the junk food a little more
-Get used to cooking once again.
-make an effort to learn to cook on the weekends w my mom. I don't want to lose traditional recipes that is the only thing I can hold on to from my parents country.
-go grocery shopping more often w them.
-Learn as much as I can at my current job.
-Be comfortable with making/bad/ art
- Learn how to take care of myself.
- hair routines, learning how to style it
- learning how to put on cohesive outfits. I'm tired of the tshirt+shorts combo.
-Learn about myself more.
-join online classes or watch youtube series about a certain topic
That's all I have for now. I just wanted to write out my thought process into something tangible <3
