Swing Set (July 17,20)

     I've gone to the park a couple of times alone now and have met little kids along the way. The first time, I went with Reyna and we talked to a kid named Julian. After that I went on my own, I wrote one of my dreams down. Once I was done I went to the swing set, I was maybe there for ten minutes. When a small four year old came up to me smiling and asked if he could sit besides me. I of course said yes, and even offered him a lift up to the seat (the seats of these swing are relatively high for a kid his age). He said no and immediately jumped on the seat. I asked for his name and he said it was Jorge. He sat there for a moment and said "I usually need my mom to push me first." I then said "Do you want to learn to how to start off on your own without any help?" Jorge smiled and said yes, I told him to mimic my body motions, and he quickly got the hang of it. After a moment of pure silence he asked "What is that journal?" I told him it was where I wrote my dreams. He said he really liked the cover, and then I asked him about his dreams. The most recent one that he remembers is of him going to school. So I assumed it was a pretty normal dream. Jorge continued describing it, at first it was a normal dream but then it turned into a nightmare when he realized he was lost in the school. I know what a poor soul! His mom came by with his little sister and they soon left afterwards. He waved and yelled bye, while his little sister also said bye.
    Today I went again alone to just get out of the house, because some thoughts kept over whelming me. I walked around a few laps, maybe read a page of "Art of War" (Amazing book by the way). Then I became bored, so obviously I went to the swing sets. I was maybe the only person at the park for thirty minutes. Then I saw mother and three kids come out of a white mini van. The girls quickly went to the playground. Five minutes later one of the girls started walking towards me. Once she was next to me she asked me if I could hold her Virtual Reality headset (First time I ever held one). She jumped on the swing and I tried to give her the VR set back. But my arms weren't long enough to reach her and hers weren't either. So we started laughing and started swing towards each other. She said that I should throw it and I obviously said no. Since we weren't getting close I just got off and gave it to her. She put it on and started listening to music while also watching the music video. Moments later she started singing the songs as well. I wanted to join in but I don't listen to the modern popular music these days. The two other girls later went to her and told her to join in doing some quest around the park. The girl said no and told them they could do it on their own. When the two girls left, I asked her why she didn't want to play with them (forgot to mention that her name is Alex). Alex said it was because she didn't like the 'quest'. I then asked her what the quest was about. Alex said "Do you see that tree in front of us? There is a small door there, that's where the elves live. They want to find the elves, but I don't, they scare me". I was going to take the easy route out and say that there was nothing in that tree, even though it did look like there was a tiny door there. So instead I told her "There is no need to be scared of them, I don't think they will be mean. Plus if they try to hurt you remember that they are elves and you can easily kick them". Alex thought about it for a moment and said "You're right! You just solved my fear! Still I want to stay here because I like talking to you". Why? I can't even have a normal conversation with someone my age without breaking into a sweat, but here is Alex actually liking my company. She asked if I came her alone and I said yes and she asked why, I said because I like being on the swings. I asked if the woman in the white t shirt that was walking around was her mom, Alex said yes. Then I asked about the two girls. The girl in the blue shirt was her sister, the one in the gray shirt was her sister's friend. Alex then started talking about her dogs. Her eldest dog barely had seven pups. I asked if she was forced to give them away, and she said they only had to give three away. Her pup is named Sophie (Just like JP's dog which I found kind of funny). Alex asked if I lived close and I said I lived in a apartment complex near by and she said "No way me too! But we're moving soon." It was a bummer to hear but she said now she got to pick which elementary school she wanted to go to. I asked if she knew what she was going to do and she said no. If she stays at school A she would get to keep her old friends, but school B can offer many opportunities to make new friends, so that's why she's undecided. She's in third grade also so I am guessing the change from schools won't be too drastic if she does decide to do that. She then proceeded to talk about her favorite music to listen to , she named off artist and I didn't recognize any of them. While she was talking I saw a girl that looked like Nubia but I wasn't sure. I kept turning around and after a few minutes she did too. Soon after Alex's mom told her it was time to go, Alex said her goodbyes and left.
     I saw Daniel come to the park and that's when I knew it was in fact Nubia. I stayed in the swings for a few minutes then decided to go to the table they were sitting at. They were playing some card game. When I arrived Nubia said "I knew it was you!" and Daniel was just surprised to see me there. Daniel asked "What happened to your sister?" and I said "She's not my sister" and he said "What! You don't know her?" I said no. He started laughing and said "Wow but you guys talked so much, that's cool." Nubia then brought up that the other two girls were playing near her and she found them creepy because they kept talking about trying to find someone. I then told them that they were trying to find elves and they laughed. Daniel explained the card game to me, but I still didn't play. I just watched Nubia beat him two times. In one game she had the upper hand and she said "I can just give you the card you need so you can at least win one time" Daniel then shot back with "No fuck that, I don't want your pity cards!" Daniel kept dropping his cards so occasionally Nubia would try to see what they were and Daniel would call her a cheater. At the end of the day they tied 2-2. Nubia's mom called her and told her it was time to go home. Daniel agreed to drop her off and he said "Stay safe" to me as they left. It was already pretty late so I decided to head back also.
I just find it weird how I always go there alone but somehow always end up talking to someone. I am not the most friendliest looking person but yet kids come to me. I guess they choose to stay because I actually listen to what they have to say.

Seat Number 5

I thought I was doing better, but the panic attack from two days ago proved me wrong. I know you don't care really but I am just letting you know, I need another break, so talk to you again on the third week of August. 

All I Wanted

   Two videos in one week? Am I okay? No I am not.

Anyways this was the second song I made a lyric video for in my old channel. I decided to remake it because the other video was trash to just re-upload

Paramore- All I wanted (Lyrics)

My Kind of Woman

This song makes gives me chills. Listening to it for three days straight. Poppy version included in these.

Heck I even made a lyric video.

Dear Reyna

   When you told me you wanted to become friends with me because I looked like a cool person, it caught me by surprise. I've never had anyone try really hard to be my friend, because I always thought of myself as average. But that is one of your most amazing qualities, you always see the best in people. You always see the best in everyday people that surround you. It's not something a lot of people have. Even if I only talked to you for our final year of high school, I am so happy to have met a person like you.     
     If I didn't meet you I would have slept everyday in psychology class. I would have had a failing grade or a C in Ms Howard's class, because let's be honest no one else would have gotten me on task. I would probably still be depressed over what happened in the beginning of June. If it weren't for that picnic, I would probably still be crying myself to sleep every night. In that picnic you told me about your insecurities, it is something that is not easy to open up about, but you still did it because you didn't want to me to feel alone on this. For that I thank you, because I have only had a couple of people that have truly opened up. Your compassion for others is something I truly admire. I've never met anyone that goes out of their way to try and make someone feel happy and loved. 

    It is sometimes sad to think that someone as amazing as you, had to go through a lot of hard experiences to be at this point in your life. Experiences that many people don't know how to handle, but you always find a way to solve them within yourself. Even if it takes time to heal, even if it takes a lot of tears, in the end you always have managed to get through all of this. Because of this it is amazing to see that you have endured all of these hard experiences and have come out a stronger person than ever. Because of this you know the right things to say to people in need. You know what advice to give. You know the right encouraging words to say so that person can get through another day feeling worth of something better. You are always there for the people you care about, even if sometimes you know they won't always stick by your side in the future. You still try, because you know what it is like to be at your lowest point, and you don't want anyone else to experience that same horrible feeling of loneliness. 

        You are caring. you are freaking hilarious, and you are beautiful. You don't care what other people think of you. That's why you and Chase were the first couple to start dancing at prom because you put away thoughts like "oh this might be embarrassing," or  "No one else is doing this" just so you could have fun and truly enjoy your time without worrying about everyone else. That is why you actually agreed to dress up as a unicorn and dance in front of the class, because it would bring a smile to person's face, and it would brighten up anyone's day. You are someone that loves bringing people together just to have some fun, and to feel the joy surrounding you. You are someone that has an amazing talent for singing and a true passion for music (especially for Hamilton). Plus you have a unique style, that's one of the first things the caught my attention, it was your 60's wardrobe. You are truly an old soul, that deserves the absolute best in life. I know you will do amazing things in the future. I know you will meet more people that truly love you and care about you in the next few chaotic years. I wish the best for you Reyna, and finally Happy Birthday.